i went for a run...

Here I am again, off the back of another run, still high endorphins even as I begin to feel the cramps and strains in my calfs and thighs. Anyway, thoughts come to me as I run, so here they go..

I was reflecting about the state of my social life, and the obvious always hits me. I have a wide array of weak links to various social networks - I count off FCBC, cell, VCF science, VCF arts, NGOs, bernise ang, kelvin quee, USP, ACJC, Gmeth, So yeap. So its not that I do not have friends, I just have very little close links people who I can count on... People whom I know and love on a first-degree basis... 

My life thus far has been book/study-centred, and with it, there are pros and cons. Pros being, intellectually mature - I know where the trends are, and I know how to explore them if I want to, because I was in a surrounding that never gave much in terms of encouragement or critical thinking. I was more in the neighbourhood of, 'study hard, make money' rather than, 'just learn about the things that you love, and see how you can move from there - doesn't really matter if it doesn't make money'... 

So yeah. I've pretty much been making my own decisions about what to do in my life, with my studies. And this attitude has created a spirit of independence, of self-reliance. At the same time, being slightly different within my peers as I came of age, I became a little bit socially-aloof. Thats the con part. Being immersed in books a little bit too deep might make a person a little bit divorced from the reality of human relationships, and its becoming obvious that it is something I should be working on - hang out more with friends and such. 

I really, really, envy my friends who have siblings who have gone on to NUS or colleges and such. At least they have God AND someone to talk to... As for me... I self-console. Which isn't much.

So thats that. Hang out with friends next semester will continue to be a priority, if not the highest priority besides studying time and running and praying. 

The second major thread that I thought of was WRITING. I need to join a writing circle of sorts, of that grey zone between amateur and professional, so I can improve my writing at a professional level. No, I don't exactly need SPH kind of mentoring, but I do need professional writers who *might* spare some time in looking after people. Maybe i'll ask someone about it. Singapore must have a writing circle somehow!

The third thread that occupied my mind was about activism. After reading Alex Au's article about foreign workers being oppressed in Singapore with complicity on the part of the government, it sent shivers down my spine. Here is the link

http://www.yawningbread.org/

And then it dawned upon me that there are at least 2 kinds of activists in Singapore. 

There are those who are acting as the Singapore's opposition - they question the policies and transparency of the incumbent, to challenge the irrationality of the government.

Then there are those who challenge the government based on universal principles of human rights and such. 

I guess you might label the former as Pragmatists and the latter as Idealists. 

There are really no hierarchies between these two kinds of activism. Activism is I guess, kinda like a spectrum, because all activism are based on the existence of ideals, but all activism also wishes to enact some kind of practical change. 

I look at the fading facades of my neighbourhood, and think about how long Singapore can really last... 'Singapore' as a coherent concept, of people living, dying, working, playing... but these are questions to big to ponder for me, and I ought to look at smaller details... 

There are the blue-blooded elitist people who have no regard for the rest of Singaporeans, and there are Singaporeans who have been disregarded by the rest of Singapore. 

I can guess now I realise the fine line that Bernise has been walking for her post-melbourne life. How to *confront* the authorities without really confronting them... 

And still musing... How long can a reign of irrationality and absurdity last? Does it become like the Soviet Union, when prison inmates joke about ten-year sentences for nothing? Or does it become worse? Even the USSR took a few decades to come to its demise. We've only had 4. Hmm... 

So yeah.