my good friends are clarithromycin and midecamycin... 31st march 2007

haha. thank the fungus which produced both the drugs. yeah. most of our antibiotics still come from fungus... i've taken mide since my childhood, and clari was a recent addition. well, what happens when you do the 24km route march with slight fever, and later on, attending the POP in the rain? you get bronchitis, and the first 2 days of my holidays were burnt at home recuperating. sigh. it was that bad... anyway, so this weekend will be burnt at home resting. sigh...

... and i found myself going back to the themes of life and meaning again. oh dear. it was about the personal ownership of the life that you live. its about taking charge of your life, and not to drift accouding to circumstance. its about finding your self in certainty, that no matter how circumstance change, the core of the person remains. and that is the core that people have to find in themselves, or build it...

arh well.

30th march 2007, and so the weekend will be burnt, recovering...

i'm finally back home, enjoying the com and everything. was suppose to be at cell, but was summoned back home by parental powers, and so here i am, doing my digital admin stuff...

it just really extremely painful, to be having swollen tonsils. darn things. painful when you drink, when you eat, when you talk, when you have to do anything that would move the neck-mouth area. aargh! arh well. can't be helped. the climax of pain was only last night, when i found myself awake, feeling like my throat was burning. arrgh. must've been the cold shower. and then things only became better after the emergency dose of panadol... what agony, what pain!

made some stupid sketches at seletar which will show how very bored i am. errgh. never mind. trying to start some philo-writing project, hey, maybe i'll write something like... 'a little about NS and a note about war', but i guess a dull book on NS would be heavily censored by the powers that be and i would get something serious. arh well...

and i was like thinking about the whole issue of living again. sigh. its always the same old stuff. i got so bored in camp because, well, i stopped thinking about these issues, because i thought i settled them all. no more conflicts, all resolved, the future given to Him, so... just live towards it. might sound 'deterministic' or whatever, but its just really it. so NS becomes like mere marking time towards the moment of fulfilment, when i can finally live out the academic aspects of my life in NUS-usp. hee. meanwhile, i found another thing to after ORD, like help out in the church's programme to tutor a'level students. haha. so in summary, the various programmes i have already thought of...

1. go overseas backpack/overseas community projects
2. work with melvin at his enrichment camp
3. TUTORING!
4. help charles with his ballooning!

and i was going off off-tangent, like, having those quotes on leadership like, a leader doesn't have to know and do everything, but a leader has to know the best in the people being led. i think thats a very important thing, and it outlines what a leader has to do, to make sure the people grow, and grow in their talents, and not to bend them in wrong directions.

even though i did nothing in camp, why does it still feel so tiring when i got home?

pharyngitis and tonsilities 28th march 2007

my bunkmates are so going to hate me for this. haha. that i will report sick and endorse the MC that was given to me by me family doctor. I AM THAT SICK. and i have to rest for the rest of the week till my infection goes away. and right now i'm comfortably sitting at home, enjoying HOME, and once again, coming to the realisation that my mum and dad loves me, albeit suffocatingly. arh well.

meanwhile, i have to wrestle with the issue of boredom in seletar camp. i can safely say that i've prepared the Word on cell on friday, and everyday i play a few matches of chinese chess here and there, write bits of nonsense, then draw bits of nonsense as well. and once i'm done with these, there's NOTHING left for me to do. i've long resolved all the angst about my future and NS life and all that, so there's really NOTHING left for me to do. i need me books. keep me mind occupied. the darn problem is that they are all heavy bulky hardcovers. sigh. and the exciting books are all so thick. sigh. arh well.

i'm so bored that i'm resorting to writing letters to non-existent people. oh dear. and once again, i have to deal with victor and his bad habits. i'm tired dealing with him, but now, i'm at peace. if i have to plead with him again, then forget it. i wash my hands clean off him. arh well. meanwhile, i'm still excited about post-ORD when i'll be helping melvin with his enrichment camp organising company, and about doing overseas CIP, as well as reading up on more stuff. anyway, things are cool. thus far. just have to settle BOREDOM - my worst enemy. meanwhile, the no1 activity that soliders love to do is... Zzzzz....

25th march 2007 - lazy weekend

today is another boring day, which makes my weekend this week sorta wasted. but not. or i guess it is. maybe it isn't, but no matter. the days simply go by...

recent conversations have made me think again about the prospects for my own future. i guess its still wide open about what i can do. i can still do research in chemistry, i can still write about geopolitics - still write essays and commentary on the whole, so yeah, the future is still wide open for me. hee. no matter. like what i've said before, my future is His, not mine. i suppose in uni, i can still do both, USP will settle my writing, and chemistry will still give me a proper day job, no matter what it might be. i could even do research on environmental sciences, even oceanic or atmospheric chemistry, hahahaha.... nah. climate science is tricky. haha. its still gonna be a fun world for me to explore. hee.

i could either be 1. a journalist, 2. a scientist, 3. a statesman of some sort combining the 2. haha. stupid dreams, shtupid thoughts.

its quite sad, that a lot of people still don't have dreams. just looking for the 'conventional' meanings of happiness. get a job, get married, have kids.... thats the SOP for life, i guess. but i have Jesus, and i have dreams, and i believe that He has a plan for me. thats all i need to know, i guess.

i suppose because christianity is a 'people thing' so people tend to narrow the function of God towards people-centred stuff. people tend to not focus on God is God Almighty, the maker of heaven and earth. arh well. another lament. which brings me to science-religion rift. arh well. for another day.

24th march 2007 half a wasted day

today i browsed through the shelves of kino and borders, to no avail, in my vain attempt to find some reading material for victor and eugene. i thought of mitch albom's books, but then further thought made me turn the notion aside. arh well. nvm. next week, 300 with edwin! hahaha.

throughout the week, nothing much happened, though there was an IPPT. sigh. i dunno how fast i can run, i just give it to God when its my turn to run.

i did a check on the no. of books i still have to read. good news: about 15 left. bad news: they are all hardcovers! sigh...

and the day slowly comes... haha. preparing cell is hard.

21st march 2007 - a little night's out'

i guess this is the first time i'm able to go home and blog a little during a night's out. hahaha. some stuff. confirm with melvin that after i ORD, i'll help out at his leadership camp thingy. and... meanwhile, help liling out with her various dilemmas. haha. i have no plans this sat, but i hope i won't be empty this weekend. it'll suck if it becomes like that. if not, i'll just have to go to jing ting's church. arh well. anyway... friday - cell.

i dunno why, but i just feel so tired coming back home. is it really the exhaustion from camp? maybe. i still have a goal - to run 42km within 4 hrs. this year. haha. just for fun. hahahahha.

real lame post. oops.

lazy sunday 18th march

i'm having a lazy sunday - means nothing much ever happened today. i'm still thinking a little about the church and stuff. i hope pastors will stop using big words. just break down the words and just say, in simple terms what things really mean. using big words sounds cool, but it might actually be empty too! for example, what does 'revelation of the cross' really mean? a simpler choice of words would be 'the things revealed at the cross' but even so, what does it really mean? if it means say, the work of Jesus at the cross, then, why not just say so? its cool to use big words if you want people to remember it easier. like how the points of a sermon always start with the same letter, but it gets to the point when its simply empty. like weasel words. why noy speak plainly?

anyway, still can't get over the fact that parents are still so restricting. still loving them, and i know they love me lots, but it gets to the point when its near-suffocating. like, being summoned home and things like that. it'll be hard when i tell them i'm christian, but i guess it can't be any easier. otherwise, my life is really fine.

does the church have a place for thinking people? i don't think so. at the way things are going, seems that they don't like nosey-pokers who ask awkward questions about the nature of religion. they don't like people who ask tough theological-philosophical questions which they can't answer. and because they can't answer, they don't want to be asked in the first place.

'educated beyond intelligence' is a veiled insult, come to think of it. all the things mentioned about faith and love and all that, its still the same old things, though everytime they attempt to repackage it different ways. the words of me good friend christian call out to me. shallow christians, shallow songs. mtv-like packaging. errgh. no flashing lights, no cool music. just a simplicity of worship. hahaha. oh well. doesn't matter....

and love? love for peoples? oh please... i've been so been through that. like the thousands who perish from famine, AIDS? or the homeless and the poor in singapore? and whats this about warrior/kingdom of light? and 'the marketplace'? who remembers the warrior/kingdom of light 5 years from now? its good to have messages, but to have them one year and throw them away the next... strategy and tactics... family, corporation, military?

sometimes these messages make people tired. at least i'm tired. at the end of it, the question is still asked, 'whats all these about?' if you can't answer... then things would have been in vain...

sketches 17th march 2007

spent the day at g12. i dunno. great thing, i know. few things bothered me. there was the thing about worship. take away the music, the lights, the stage, and everything, and what do you get? the only thing you'll be left with is ultimately the heart. so yeah. cos i can't stand music and lights, but i guess others do. so, arh well.

i know the people are sincerem truly earnest and seeking God. but sometimes, i dunno. the same words are being used over and over again, and the terms become cliched. but i guess thats inevitable, because thats what christianity is, really about the same few things. so inevitably, leaders would emphasize it over and over again. but could they express these things in more creative ways?

i guess i become bored easily, but its how i work, i guess. its what stirs me to work, finding new ways...

anyway, some sketches...















its just fun to sketch, just for the simple fun. haha

week at seletar camp march 12-march 16th 2007

before i recount some stuff about seletar, here are some photoes which will help you people out there visualise how many books i have. (not that people are dying to know anyway...)

there are i guess ~100? books, averaged about $40. and i've spent about 4k??? i dunno...























ok. back to seletar. its a nice place, good scenery, better food, but the bunks were dusty, though we did clean them up. as usual, it gets hot in the afternoon and there are a couple of bugs every now and then, but there are no real problems. so i guess, seletar is a nice place, so far. but the working site will be horrid, where it gets real hot, but there isn't much of a choice. so far i've been enjoying the physical training, but things will get tougher... i've also realised that physical training and mental training are one and the same, 2 sides of the same coin. the best way to train up the physique is to have a strong mental will, and the only way to train mental will is to go through real tough physical training.

went for g12. for a while. i got to know myself better, because i realise that for me, i will only talk in a certain manner, and i will talk in the most direct manner. its simply not me to hide thoughts behind ambiguity; i will just say things as they are, other things aside. because it is the only way i know; to go straight for the truth. it disturbs people, but i hope that it challenges people to shove away weakness of will and JUST confront what they have to confront. facing up to the truth is the best way to start growing. or thats what i think. there is no, 'i think that i have to...', or 'i don't really know if...', there is only a 'yes, i will do it,' or 'no, i can't...'. and if the person gives excuses, say it as it is, that it is an excuse and nothing more. and excuses can be taken care of with application of will. and it is all there is, at the end of the sequence of things. yet many people suffer from what they need the most, pray God will take care of that.

things above reflected from mentoring/coaching eugene and victor. GET OUT FROM YOUR BUTT AND START DOING THINGS! thank God for the favour. living out God's love just settles everything.

did a morbid gedanken (thought) experiment. what would i leave behind if i die right here and now? well, the only thing that you really can leave behind is God's love. something so powerful it transforms lives. memories fade and become distorted. friends might neglect contacts - friendships fade. i would really want people to get over my passing. really. something that people can still hold on to... or not. i can imagine now, friends poring over the personal effects of their dear friend who just passed away, tears streaming down after reading about the friend's letters... 'letters from the grave' sounds so... cliche, i suppose. its suppose to be a working title for a novel, like all my various others half-baked ideas... haha. arh well.

did a dishonourable thing sigh. confronted. shouldn't gossip or divulge secrets. but gossip fodder, oh please. whats the price of friendship...?

and all that, in a space of a week, not to mention finding a stolen handphone and being scared out of our wits by a commander. shtupid... haha.

and to end this entry, i'm starting to organise an overseas community work trip. it might/might not amount to anything, but its just fun thinking about it. hee! hope i remember this throughout the whole year! let the passion burn!

a lookback at the time at citi

so here are the photos that basically show the summary of all the things that we did at citi. there are other photos, but i don't think its necessary to put all of them. so, thats basically what we did. we enjoyed ourselves, played bridge, had fun, and had more fun. but these days are now just memories, and these photos will be here to remind myself of those fun virtual civillian life while being stuck in NS. haha. adios, citi...

10th march 2007 busy saturday

watched pursuit of happyness with yang en and co. haha. was nice. but the company was a little boring. there's really little point in me tagging along with yang en, eating lunch and all. then i went to bugis to buy a little pencil, a glorified sketch pencil. and then met weiyang and jay.

the main point of the day was that i realised the main difference between fcbc and ncc. fcbc emphasizes on discipleship, people ministering to people in love and spirit. ncc emphasizes 'the finished work of Jesus on the cross' and how every individual can claim it. as for chc, i'll try to learn when i attend their services.

other churches of course, have different emphasis. faith aog is a small church, in asking believers to go on the mission, whether home or overseas. thats all i know. when i've time, i'll really go to many other churches and get a feel of the different things that happen.

then there was the part about mental shallowness, and christian's words come to my memory. how today's songs are so shallow, so devoid of nuances, just vulgar direct coarse trash like direct from mtv (sometimes it feels like this way). i wonder if any of the churches will occassionally, every now and then, do simple hymns. like society's popular culture is based on low cultural denominators, so i guess, the things that come out become like so, simple direct, easy to understand. or people don't bother to understand further. so church, winning people, have to find the cultural denominators in dealing with the people, and ends up using the same low cultural denominators... and... are the culture of churches becoming this way?

and this just came into my thots. long time ago, churches used to be bastion of knowledge, works of philosophy, learning, even research - gregor mendel was a monk. but that was then secular authority took charge of learning and made it religion-neutral, in the light of nasty brutal religious wars that consumed entire kingdom's treasuries. but anyway, churches were epitomes of cultural development - michaelangelo's sistine chapel, the monastic orders... and today? churches become repositories of moral values, guardians of a vault that musn't be corrupted. and in the midst of their duty, these guardians attempt to extend the reach of their duty. guardians who are becoming paranoid that their vault might become breached, extends their arms but neglects their original aim... in a secular society, churches can only extend their cultural arms so far beofre being lost in the cacophony of voices of the coarse. the church as to be both, in reaching out to those in ordinary society, yet elevate itself beyond the vulgar and the coarse in normal society. as always its a delicate battle.

arh well. just funny stuff. anyway, when does devotion become hysteria? and weiyang tells me when people don't know what they do... and the third reich comes to my mind, how hitler seduced the minds of an entire people.

a small atoll of rationality in the vast ocean of poverty of thought.

9-3-2007 blessed week

i spend this week in many endeavours.

1. continues to help victor in tuition, and its now a greater challenge than ever, because of his learning handicap - dyslexia, but he can do it. that knowledge changes everything, yet it has made me a little more resolved, perhaps? his name is victor after all, and all that he has done so far has demonstrated his name.

2. helping eugene with his life. the dirty details aside, if he wants to turn his life around, he should do it himself, and take the first step. i can only help guide.

3. wonderful prayer meeting. praying for the growth indeed! may God continue to work in camp!

4. consoling people in a relationship its never easy. but i've always sorta gave the same advice. face up to the issue. no point running away.

5. realising all these is part and parcel of training - the Father's heartbeat.

had fun. gonna have more fun.

the last day at CITI - 7th march 2007

today i'm fully maximising the capability of my N73 handphone, and shot a couple of videos, mostly starting jay and weiyang. but whatever. hope the day can be fun, a nice way to end our stay here.

anyway, the real point of this was to do a review of the entire course at citi, what have i learnt, what were the important things, etc. and so here it goes.

1. i learnt some basic construction skills, which i can utilize in overseas community work building basic infrastructure for remote villages.

2. i met some really cool people and got to know them better, such as charles, jay, alvin, hou zhong, jeremy, eugene 'starz', chester. and where i first started working with victor seriously about his a'levels.

3. where it allowed me a chance to grow spiritually, especially during THAT week of sanctification, where i managed to cement my relationship with cell and cell leader, because of the evenings off and the proximity to bishan where we had cell.

4. with the people i met, i even managed to start a little prayer meeting starting with charles, jay and jeremy, where i'm beginning to grasp the principles of leadership.

all of these things are things to thank God for. things have started, and though i will be moving to seletar, where there will be further challenges, as well as being back in jurong camp. but no matter these challenges, i believe that these things can be surmounted, and there will be further victories and breakthroughs in my life yet in jurong camp, no matter how dreary or bleak things may seem. so yeah. praise to God for all things!

6th march 2007 a blessed day in camp

i had a blessed prayer meeting today. and i didn't intend to have one, i only wanted one on thursday. but things happen. jeremy asked me who was holding it, and i said, i was, and then i replied, if he wanted one, i would go and ask jay. so it started, and i digressed most of the time. we talked about money, about recent happenings, how weiyang and i were exploring theology. about the interpretation of the Bible and other things. so yeah. and like they say, most of the things are usually done in the last few moments. and so it was. i think we spent 30mins just chatting, and then we talked about the growth of the prayer meeting, about setting in place a core, and then gradually asking people to come. but it'll take time, and i'm still going about this one step at a time, and about what a prayer meeting should have. devotions, prayer requests, just simple talking, meeting spiritual needs.

towards the end, there were little miracles. there was this piling machine that started, but as we prayed, we stopped. jeremy prayed that we will work towards getting friends for good friday, that there might be a harvest, i prayed for jay's future, and jeremy then suggested jay to pray for the future of the prayer meeting - the very thing that i wanted to pray about, but i had to pray for jay, so, there were really little miracles.

and thanks jay, for encouraging me, not to be worried. yes, this prayer meeting is not what it can do, but what it is about - God, more than anything else. and i'm glad that that the issue between charles and jay was merely a slight misunderstanding.

God, you really worked things out for me. let me remind myself always that it is You in control, no one else...

5th march 2007 - and the days at citi are slowly ended

today promises to be another day. was on the bus on the way to citi and overheard the conversatins of sec 1 students. guess they were sec 1 because of numerous links to their primary sch days, in the manner of 12 yrs old... their conversation was bland, just plain social gossip of the kind that still lingers on into later adulthood. arh well. i guess when these are the times when people start socialising seriously during the times of adolescence, how to relate to people, to the opposite gender, so on. but at such a young age when, children already become so socially-activated that i never saw, and i'm wondering if there is a scale of social development in relation to physical development during adolescence, but i guess that would be common sense. as our brains grow, so will our social networks.

anyway, these are the last few days of comparative bliss at citi. soon it'll be back to camp. feeling rather sad that prayer meeting is become a stillborn, because of differences between churches. ~sigh~ i 'just' wanted a simple prayer meeting, even meeting the needs of christians in camp who might find their spiritual lives eroding, perhaps. maybe there was no need to hold one in the first place. but how everything turns out, in the end, its up to God, even though i may worry so much, its still in His hands, not mine. perhaps the favour is not with me, but whatever it is Lord, its all up to You.

still thinking about people. about the way lives are lived. christians live for christ. others, non-believers live for happiness, more than the ephemereal happiness, but a deeper happiness that allows them to find peace in their lives.

meeting the needs of people... thats rather hard when people think shallowly and don't see the need in their lives...

4th march 2007 watched ROCKY BALBOA

watched rocky balboa. not bad, was rather good actually. was rather cool. was thinking about psychological depth on the MRT, and hey, the film actually demonstrated that, that you have to GET UP everytime you get beaten down.

i was thinking about the common life that people live; girls wanting to look good to attract some guy, get a good job, get a house, start a family, and take care of everything you've built for the rest of your life. ditto for the guy, look good, get a girl, get a job, start a family, and take care of everything.

in going through all of these things, i guess, people hardly stop and ask themselves what is it they were working for. i guess people just do it for some vague thing called 'happiness', or just 'living for the sake of living'.

when they say happiness, they mean a different thing, not the happy-jump-for-joy-happiness, but a deeper happiness that brings peace and satisfaction. and as they go through the different things in their life, they build up psychological depth, resilience, or whatever you call it, the 'thing' that gives you the strength to keep getting back on your feet when you get beaten down by whatever circumstance.

i should know. christians call it God, hope, faith and love...

4th march 2007 UWT-ultimate waste time...

had guard duty yesterday that ended today. and thats enough time wasting. but to add insult, i had to attend some relative's ostentatious show of wealth at some 15th day of lunar new year thing and tolerate mediocre food. more time wasting. then i had to see seletar camp. now i know how to go. take 100 to serangoon area then change to 103 and have a happy long ride. might have to be there on sunday night. aww shucks. and this weird thing that my bro wants to be a free-thinker. arrgh...

i'm so sorry God...

anyway, i lost my temper today. took bus 103 which took us to serangoon mrt station. and had to go to elder sis' home, which meant that my bro and i should have just changed bus at outram, but for want to do something new, we switched to the north-south line, which meant, horrors upon horrors, a longer jouney, and more TIME-WASTING. was so angry angry angry. arrgh. so i'm letting it all out before it does further damage. if there is hope, i might still catch a movie at west mal, but that seems infinitesimal (intended movie- rocky balboa). reminds myself to buy iwo jima soundtrack.

guess with the letting out of rage, i feel better. guess blogging is therapeutic after all. hee.

just finished guard duty 4th march 2007

yup. its what it says. just reached home at 1000. and now i'm blogging. had a couple of thoughts floating in my head during guard duty.

i was wondering if you could use a sphere intersecting a plane to illustrate the context of our lives. like, the plane is our secular life, and the sphere represents our spiritual lives, and at their intersection is the extent of the Spirit in our lives, or something like that...

and there was something about the fact that the organisation of knowledge is extremely important in this day and age, and that being able to organise knowledge is more important than finding them, that subsequently, the ability to organise, to pick and choose areas of knowledge for some project in a synthesis will be an essential ability. (something about it being 'combinatorial'...)

and then there was another thing about driving passions and the common life, perspectives of life from both christians and non-believers, about the different definitions in living life meaningful.

essays, like diamonds, need to be multifaceted to shine.

in a rush...

2nd march 2007 A STRANGELY IMPORTANT POST

w


why iwo jima is such a great war movie.

because its really one of the war movies which shows the idiocy of war, it show the emtional consequences of war, where the good and bad are ambiguous, because although you are rooting for the japanese somehow, you know that they aren't suppose to win this battle, hence the paradox, the emotions that you feel as the movie unfolds. it portrays the common humanity, and the hate and compassion on both sides. it shows the wasting of war, how it tears people from their social fabric, that they are still fighting though there is hardly any meaning left in the fight, both from the japanese and the american point of view. there are no good guys, but there are no bad guys either. the japanese are not bloodthirsty people, nor are the americans anymore righteous. it asks, whats the fighting for?

and in this, i think few movies can really show such force of argument against war... yes, i am very gah-gah over it.

woah, thanks charles, for making me think about why iwo jima is nice... too bad it didn't win best pic at oscars... sigh.. haha. wow. listening to the music, really brings emotions to the surface. funny, how i seem to want to cry. such is the power, the soft piano keys pressing, soft, so subtle, i think i can only use chinese for this - the music is so touching it moves the soul...

anyway, was thinking about what would i have left behind if i were to leave. i know my parents would go through traditional chinese rites, but i would have still have left a chrisitian. i would leave many people behind, my sec 4 classmates, my jc friends, my army friends, some other special friends here and there, and of course, church friends. i guess. i would leave behind a huge pile of notebooks and books, and plenty of files in the computer, for friends to pore over (please read through them! these are really my works through life!) hopefully, if i may dare, that some friends would compile them and publish them as a biography. buahahahaha. but what vain thoughts. oh, what morbid thoughts. but maybe i'll just leave them here for friends to chance upon and remember.

anyway.... i never realised that what i was doing was really in seeking the people of peace mentioned in Luke 10 - melvin's intended passage. along comes victor needing academic help, and here i am, ready and able. woah. God works powerfully. forget the money, i'm here for the long haul... might more come my way? haha. leave it into His hands. point me to open hearts.

and congratulations, liling, for doing so well for your A's. its as i guess, sorta expected. 4A's and 2D's. you can hardly get any better for an Arts student. I'm sure God has a wonderful plan for you. so off you go, pray, and be on your way!

haha. guard duty... sianz.. haha.

1st march 2007

had a great night with zhicong (don't really know), zhou qi, ying han and of course, melvin. first of all, some confessions. i really should need to hang out with zhou qi more, since he's my cell leader's leader.

had a great time talking to him about the projects i'm undertaking, and he just shares with me Luke 10, the intended cell message.

man of peace. people who are open to the Word.
victor, whom i'm giving tuition to, in meeting a felt need.
chester, who needs someone to tell him to be more patient? ruiqiang, who's inquisitive, and seeking answers and proof? i need better discernment, to tell between sincerity and facade. eugene, who just can't wake up for mass on sunday? ronnie, who has a Bible in the locker?

prayer meeting and about jayjay and his NCC background... let prayer meeting not be still-born. but God if it's Your will, then let it be.

about NCC, about our own church. let me not be... doubting... about the 'tribe' concept. i guess i'm not into it enough to know, not seeing how it works, not fully immersed in the community.

so yar. its not entirely not about people coming to service. its about helping to fulfil those needs, and it'll be about the one giving as well.

hmm.. cool night. Thank You, Father.