week at seletar camp march 12-march 16th 2007

before i recount some stuff about seletar, here are some photoes which will help you people out there visualise how many books i have. (not that people are dying to know anyway...)

there are i guess ~100? books, averaged about $40. and i've spent about 4k??? i dunno...























ok. back to seletar. its a nice place, good scenery, better food, but the bunks were dusty, though we did clean them up. as usual, it gets hot in the afternoon and there are a couple of bugs every now and then, but there are no real problems. so i guess, seletar is a nice place, so far. but the working site will be horrid, where it gets real hot, but there isn't much of a choice. so far i've been enjoying the physical training, but things will get tougher... i've also realised that physical training and mental training are one and the same, 2 sides of the same coin. the best way to train up the physique is to have a strong mental will, and the only way to train mental will is to go through real tough physical training.

went for g12. for a while. i got to know myself better, because i realise that for me, i will only talk in a certain manner, and i will talk in the most direct manner. its simply not me to hide thoughts behind ambiguity; i will just say things as they are, other things aside. because it is the only way i know; to go straight for the truth. it disturbs people, but i hope that it challenges people to shove away weakness of will and JUST confront what they have to confront. facing up to the truth is the best way to start growing. or thats what i think. there is no, 'i think that i have to...', or 'i don't really know if...', there is only a 'yes, i will do it,' or 'no, i can't...'. and if the person gives excuses, say it as it is, that it is an excuse and nothing more. and excuses can be taken care of with application of will. and it is all there is, at the end of the sequence of things. yet many people suffer from what they need the most, pray God will take care of that.

things above reflected from mentoring/coaching eugene and victor. GET OUT FROM YOUR BUTT AND START DOING THINGS! thank God for the favour. living out God's love just settles everything.

did a morbid gedanken (thought) experiment. what would i leave behind if i die right here and now? well, the only thing that you really can leave behind is God's love. something so powerful it transforms lives. memories fade and become distorted. friends might neglect contacts - friendships fade. i would really want people to get over my passing. really. something that people can still hold on to... or not. i can imagine now, friends poring over the personal effects of their dear friend who just passed away, tears streaming down after reading about the friend's letters... 'letters from the grave' sounds so... cliche, i suppose. its suppose to be a working title for a novel, like all my various others half-baked ideas... haha. arh well.

did a dishonourable thing sigh. confronted. shouldn't gossip or divulge secrets. but gossip fodder, oh please. whats the price of friendship...?

and all that, in a space of a week, not to mention finding a stolen handphone and being scared out of our wits by a commander. shtupid... haha.

and to end this entry, i'm starting to organise an overseas community work trip. it might/might not amount to anything, but its just fun thinking about it. hee! hope i remember this throughout the whole year! let the passion burn!