another bout of emo-ness

I realised more things, these past few days, and learnt some other things also. I am currently learning to make HARD decisions (applied chemistry vs STS), and I'm learning more about who I am, which is never easy.

And then there is the whole other stuff about what the world is and what its not and that we can NEVER foist our mindset on everything around us, especially people and friends.

And I realise that I didn't something during the holidays, and that is spending time outside with myself. I still remember those days as rather fruitful days, the times where I got original insight into some stuff. Shall compensate for that shortly after this post. And I haven't been reading much, compared to old times.

Thinking about ignorance vs empathy.

Still struggling with my self-identity, feeling quite sian about it since I belong to all these many different tiny places, and so doesn't actually belong anywhere single place. No sense of a psychological/emotional *home* among friends. And thinking about *home*, thinking about home as full of very heavy words - obligation, duty, oppression, love, limits, control, boundedness.

I can't really relate to anyone now it seems. I can, if I bother to. But it becomes quite tiring after a while. But heck, that doesn't really matter. But its really quite sian to have to compartmentalise everything. Like, 'NUS friends here', 'social issues there', 'really BIG issues over here'. But everyone lives a different sort of life, similar but not quite the same. And its the not quite the same that's the happening part.

And speaking of which, I'm different twice over. I'm not just different, but I'm different in the ways of differences. Which really just summarises above.

Which is all the more reason I need God.

Thats a lot of ideas I jumped around today. The amazing number of stuff you can move around in your head when shopping with ur folks.