before saturday is over...
here i am again, in front of the macbook, punching keys, doing a bit of quiet time before i go do a bit of running. earlier today i heard another testimony of overcoming family objections to conversion, but with a tinge of sadness. i still have time, and i feel the same thoughts of hypocrisy but not quite the active church leader, not quite active in ministry, things are different but also not that different. maybe Lord, You are really serious in dealing with my family. have mercy.
the other thing is that i still have no idea what the heck i'm supposed to do, it might have something to do with studies and academic leadership, to be really good at studying, and that the university is really a marketplace, though i might help others in their studies more than their spiritual needs. i mean, i hope helping them with studies will also lead me on the way to helping them fulfill their spiritual needs... even if they don't believe, all the more will want to minister to the in their studies or whatever. and of course, helping friends - no matter believers or not, with their work, f.o.c, no obligations, no... nothing, just help because i really want to.
Lord, i really have no idea what it means to be in USP. of course people might think there's some kind of aura, but the truth is, there isn't really anything that special (i think) about USP. but there is a reason, almost like being set apart from normal students. again, i have no idea what i means, i refuse to believe in my own ambitions and visions, because i know that You will have something out there even better for me, somehow, and that always, always, always, i want to choose You, because You have the better way for me, in my studies, in my life, in my relationships, in my family, most importantly.
this life i leave unto Your hands, knowing Lord You will not let me go to waste, but instead You will somehow use me to fulfill something in Your grand ultimate plan!
amen.
the other thing is that i still have no idea what the heck i'm supposed to do, it might have something to do with studies and academic leadership, to be really good at studying, and that the university is really a marketplace, though i might help others in their studies more than their spiritual needs. i mean, i hope helping them with studies will also lead me on the way to helping them fulfill their spiritual needs... even if they don't believe, all the more will want to minister to the in their studies or whatever. and of course, helping friends - no matter believers or not, with their work, f.o.c, no obligations, no... nothing, just help because i really want to.
Lord, i really have no idea what it means to be in USP. of course people might think there's some kind of aura, but the truth is, there isn't really anything that special (i think) about USP. but there is a reason, almost like being set apart from normal students. again, i have no idea what i means, i refuse to believe in my own ambitions and visions, because i know that You will have something out there even better for me, somehow, and that always, always, always, i want to choose You, because You have the better way for me, in my studies, in my life, in my relationships, in my family, most importantly.
this life i leave unto Your hands, knowing Lord You will not let me go to waste, but instead You will somehow use me to fulfill something in Your grand ultimate plan!
amen.
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