Relationship with things technological

I've always had several thoughts about people's relationship with technology. Technology, is well, 'us'. Technology would not exist without humanity, and they are not too removed from ourselves. I mean, technology might exist as disparate objects, but really, they are conceptually conjoined to us - people.

And so, we invest technological objects with our humanity, with ourselves. We leave traces of humanity in the technologies that we use.

I can't imagine how I might part with my current laptop, that stores all the IMs that are stored on the local hard disk, containing all my personal research and my personal writings. Sure - they can be stored somewhere else, but there is just this physicality involved having the memory embodied in the space of the laptop...

at night....

a couple of things for me to reflect about today... if i wasn't wanting the N97, my sister wouldn't have asked from Nokia a trial version... and if I wasn't wanting it badly, I wouldn't be at bukit batok, and i wouldn't have met a friend to talk about problems... if I woke up on sunday, i wouldn't have thought that my life would go through such turnings. but it did. God has His ways.

Talking about life's issues, i feel, always so insufficient, in not being completely able to minister to friends around me. there was actually very little i could do in answering the friend's need to find peace with God. and so i shared what i went through, very naturally. i shared about my own anger with God, and how I'm trying to find the peace. not exactly the same thing, but still... God knows I tried, and I pray that the words I spoke to my friend where the words that God needed to speak to her about. Funny. In that moment the Bible verses felt inadequate. Or I wasn't thinking of the 'right ones'.

So Lord, i need more of Your Spirit. help me minister to people...

tonight was the night my nightmare nearly came true - a sign of things to come...

The Sunday that just passed was a nightmare that almost came true...

The nightmare concerns an 'apartness' feeling that I've always felt between my parents and I. But before I move on, I love my parents and my family and I know they love me. Love - as in sacrifice and affection. I know my parents and siblings have already poured their lives into me, and any failure to acknowledge can only be a failure on my part. 

And so I move on. This apartness that I feel concerns largely my academic and spiritual development... I already live in my own world academically, pursuing the things that some of my peers in USP might not even understand completely. I'm pursuing academic boundaries in ways, and I'm also beginning to accept myself and my inclinations, and trying to maintain sensitivity to friends as well. 

There's isn't much to say about spirituality except that I have acquired a different worldview, and that makes a lot of difference already.

But the thing that concerns me most is that academic pursuits in USP is moving me into a different socio-economic space where my parents and siblings can hardly imagine. That I'm in this place where my peers are used to a more affluent lifestyle due to their socio-economic background, that I am here in USP due in large part to my academic merits (I think), and that I'm out of my league socio-economically... This part has always affected me ever since I entered ACJC, and I'm still feeling my way through this. That because of academic achievements people think I come from a over-achieving family background... Well... Sunday night I shopped around for a blazer, and brother and I were in conflict because he thought the blazer would be too expensive... Thank Lord for G2000 bundled packages! 

So yeah. Even as I'm in USP, I'm contesting stereotypes in my own ways, that at the same time, I'm also trying to find an acceptance over who I am and what I'm doing, in relation to my friends, in relation to the whole system overall... 

In all of these, Lord, I ask for compassion, not to be self-righteous or puffed up or boastful, but instead, to see these people with compassion, to relate to them on an even footing, to engage them emotionally and psychologically, to acquire a sensitivity for myself and for others, and I pray that in all of these, I will find favour in You, and in others, that others might come to see the work that You are doing in my life.

Lord I thank You, that I am in USP, for the opportunities to interact with so many people, and I pray I can engage them in a meaningful and spiritual manner. Lord, give me the strength and the compassion to see them as You see them, as creations of Your love and grace. I ask all these in Jesus' most precious name. Amen.

I got my macbook back and InteresThink 3

Yeah! I got my macbook back! Well, I had to sent it off because the palm rest was cracked. And the palm rest that I got right now seems to feel more solid than the one I had. The mouse button seems more solid too - harder to press.

Anyway, was at InteresThink 3.

The first guy talked about the mangement of information and how important it is to manage and share information within organisations and between organisations.

The second guy talked about social entrepreneurship and how he combined social work and business in his company.

The third guy is also about social entrepreneurship and how he employs the marginalised too.

The forth lady talked about toilets. Which was kinda cool.

I managed to grab an SPH representative to be there, and dragged quite a bit of USP people there, and saw an interesting exchange between Gabriel and Kelvin.

I miss my buddy Shaun. I wish I could hang around more conversations. The talks were great, and the diversity of life's experience was there for all to see, and as Douglas summed it up, it was about passions and how some of the speakers had a passion for the community, and so worked in that direction. Somehow in the middle of it, I just realised that well, I really don't have a passion for these social issues, as much as I might be interested in them. But it just seems that I don't have the passion that some of these people have even though they are all younger than me.

Maybe I just feel .jaded. Maybe I don't really get social change after all, and I guess that really means that my heart isn't there. My being isn't there. I guess I'm a thinker first and foremost, and I should learn to accept that. Or maybe the 'doing' part just isn't quite there yet. But I'm still quite a sci-tech-centred guy who likes to look at the techie and science part of things, and that is certainly one way I can enter into the conversation of the world.

I realised also a lot of things. That Singapore has quite a diverse blogosphere, and political ones at that. People are talking, and the label of apathy seems less and less justified with each passing generation.

But what does it take to really change? Other than that, met other cool people, and got some contacts, I think. Not sure what to expect. Maybe can add half the audience list on facebook! haha.

2 days in PGP

PGP is a great place to mug and study. It is! Though initially i had a little problem with the internet access, but thanks to samantha, everything turned out fine! just download software, and adjust a little bit of things here and there, grab the wire, and thats it!

Oh! And all my modules are done and through! Had a little issue with the USP module allocation and timing, but now that's settled, its time to bunker down, get to really socialise, hang out with old friends, and on we go!

Thank You God!

Even though i actually lost my transponder on the first day... FIRST DAY! aargh. but thats ok. i mean, whats a little joke between friends? haha.

Met God-centred people! woohoo! meeting them on wednesday, i hope. need to get microwave-safe containers for all the microwaving i might have to do! and then its on to shaun's farewell on thursday! First USP, then the WORLD! muahaha.

just kidding myself. got too addicted on Word Challenge on facebook. gotta do work gotta do work gotta do work!