my non-fascination with cities

I have books piled high on the left side of my desk. Correction. Notebooks and books. At the top of my pile there are 4 thick books that I got from the NUS library, and they are threatening to topple anytime. I don't really care.

The books that threaten to topple are all about cities and sustainability, and increasingly I ask myself why I am interested, maybe even interested in the topic of cities. Seriously I don't really know why. It happens to be one of those things that I got stuck on to, and since then, haven't really got it out of my system. I guess it started with architecture, with William McDonough and ecologically living, then this whole cradle-to-cradle thing, and now Heather tells me her work in it, and I'm stuck on to it even more, even though I can't find that impulse to be interested in it, or maybe its buried somewhere underneath all the negativity. Maybe that.

Its been a long time since I had some meaningful intellectual exchange about something I care about. I still care about the environment, its just that I realise that I can't really do anything about it as an undergrad doing sociology. The angles are much tougher, since the real hardcore things about the environment are about the hard facts, and the flows, and its difficult to just have words of theories and conceptualisation without some raw data. In that respect, I would have chosen to do geography - but that's out of the question, becomes my funda-funda-fundamental interest is still in how people handle their place in societies, how people know, and think stuff together - and that is still a place of word-ed discussion. There are still areas in communication theories, sociological theories where its all interesting for me. Which then reminds me that I need to learn programming, starting with IT1002 next semester. Getting back to the environment, I find it tiring to have to remind myself that I'm interested in cities, and 'sustainable' is becoming such a bad, bad, bad, overused word. I think I'll just use, green, or eco- cities next time. Sus-tain-a-ble is too much a mouthful. Green, eco, is better, conveys so much more meaning within a shorter space of speech.

I'm living a crazy undergrad life, taking modules all over the place, but I need to do it. Very few people share the same interest, and its difficult when even the same interest starts diverging and you realise that there are different roads to work on, but some roads are more important personally than other words.

My special sem hasn't began, but I'm tired already. Oh Lord, help me.