long long week. 27th april 2007

its been a long week, and i can tell you why. my platoon just became the most experienced - in army slang, old bird, in hokkien - in terms of standby activation. arh well. and one standby takes the whole afternoon away. arh well. had one on monday, then another on wednesday. and then on thursday we went for combat shoot, and today was finally a day of peace. not even drawing arms! hoorah! i now remember! on tuesday yet some unintelligent engineer formation anniversary. when they unveiled what they had, i felt so redundant. so, they already have a mine clearing vehicle.. then why do they still need us for? i guess vehicles are more expensive than man, i suppose... one of the numerous contradictions... 'we value man, but we also value our machines'

i listened to that very nice song by the Corrs - 'we are so young now, we are, so young, so young now...' sitting in the bunk with some good pals around, and just listening, well, army guys don't shed tears, right? but there i was, close to shedding tears. i'm thinking, that the most carefree, days of freedom are already gone from me, and the only days that are left will soon be filled with increasing responsibility and greater burden. but i guess its inevitable. and on and on... the summer of our youth, it is still here though fading fast everyday. and then i'm suddenly thinking, hey, although the pals in NS are close and personal, there isn't a deep genuine love. we all live our own lives quite separate from others - there is a shell that we maintain with others. but if we were to be genuine brothers, then we should be open to one another in our hearts. but of course, few would take this gibberish of mine. that led me to think of the nature of a true friend. it led me to think that true friends are people who dare to rebuke you, simply because of their love for you. they don't want you to go astray, so they reprimand you, to make sure you step on the correct path. they don't merely encourage, they stick with you, and stay with you, until you overcome your obstacles...

this week was a bad week ethically. instead of building people, i tore them down. sigh. perhaps the negativity of everything has finally gotten to me and i am slowly crumbling inside. which leads me to another point, about the stamina of spirit - how strong your spirit is after all the obstacles, how long more can your spirit last... please Father, strengthen me in the spiritual realm. grant me the perseverance and tenacity and the endurance, to sow the seeds, to water them, to let them grow. or even like the shepherd. please, Lord. 2 Cor 12:9 But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.' In weak, imperfect people, Your grace will always be enough, and through imperfectness, Your perfectness be seen.

Praise be to God, always!