20th april 2007 it seems like a long week, but next week will be....

this week was really fine. we weren't disturbed, and glory to God, i cleared my most dreaded of physical tests - the SOC. my sbo was loose, my rifle sling buckle came off, haven't had practise for while, the concertina wire was new and high...

i realised that one attribute i seemed to have gained was to disregard the fear in others, and just be able to focus and concentrate so intently on the task at hand that all other things seem relevant. and so it was. my rifle sling came off, my buckle dropped, but still i managed to run, even though i had to hold it in an extremely awkward manner. and i even did a sub-9. haha. all glory to Him.

soc and running are just immense tests of the mind and will. how you manage to go on even though you are tired, even when everything doesn't seem to work well in your favour. its also about the fact that sometimes, the victory is already there, waiting for you, in fact, beckoning you. but sometimes it just seems so easy to let even satan rob you of the victory, by persuading to give up, saying that you are too tired, you are too weak, you are undeserving, etc... once you can win this battle, the victory is yours, even though you might not be the first or the fastest. what matters is the battle you fight inside. because God is on your side...

i have favour, arising from my enthusiasm for running, for my ability with words. 2ic seems to like people good with words, or so i was told. but anyway, yeah. thank God.

there is also another thing i learnt. would i still be 'eddie' if i failed? i don't think so. i would still be me, no matter i did well or not, as long as i tried. what matters is the person inside sometimes, not what the person does. nothing can take that away from me. and nothing can separate me from the love of God. once again, to Him all thanks and glory...

errgh.. thanks to my suffocating parents, even my saturdays are now being subsumed into the category of family. errgh. its irritating to have so little breathing space. i already have sundays... isn't that enough. apparently not... arh well. just gotta live with an overbearing brother and an over-loving mother. oh God, really, pleease help me...