familial angst

sigh. every now and then i feel a disconnect between my family and i. i don't know how to explain the forums and seminars i go to, i don't how to explain the ideas that i'm doing so i simplify things... and there's my family still treating me like i was a twelve year old kid. but now i'm twenty and very much aware of the world.

God make me patient and give me a gentle heart of meekness and humuility.

arh well.

picked up kurt vonnegut yesterday. picked up freeman dyson's 'scientist as rebel' and it quaintly describes how i want to feel. but anyway, the seminar yesterday was totally cocked. by that i mean, there's this world that i'm in which i didn't know about. and it was really about people talking cock. but it was nice. about the ideas that will be brought up to UN, ideas which people would hear but won't do anything about. enough of talking. stop talking as if climate change can be prevented. or the worst can be staved off. sianz.

heck, i feel like a rebel already. i'm tired of the many status quo that exists. the state of things as they are, in religion, in education, in politics... the way things are being done sometimes don't make much of a sense anymore. things are being done fast enough, not being done smart enough. still clinging on to the old way of things. sigh. but i am only still here, still close to nothing...

arh well.