26th may 2007 saturday

the whole week has been fine. yeah! no more acct! no more throwing people, or being thrown! and no more sian times during ORD period! yeah!!! am finally done with the stupid tigger hill thingy. nothing much. just 10k or so. could take it. so yeah. arh well. but there is talk of more runs ahead, and even now, there are outfields... sian...

i seriously need fiscal discipline. spent another 100 in the week to buy books. my interest is diversifying. now i'm in a bit of a lit season, so for a start, i'm reading goethe, milton and dante. which are really cool stuff. so yeah. i really, really, really, need to stop and say, STOP. I WILL STOP SPENDING MONEY. because there isn't really anything else than i need. i just need to read to maintain my writing capabilities, which i think, is slowly going down the drain. i hope the occassion literature might up it...

this morning did some finance matters. and i thank God for my mother, who so shrewdly saved for the sake of my university education. and now i know, that my family is actually financially secure, that she can actually invest a wee bit...

and this really demonstrates the love that my mother has for me, and it just touches my heart. wow. and now i should really start to save to pay for those schemes, which are really like the prudential schemes melvin showed me. i guess if God really wants you to do something, He'll keep making these things happen. If its really meant for you, He will show it to you, again and again. which is really amazing. so yeah.

cell was just... i don't know what to say. its just so... spiritually powerful and moving, i guess. as i recall now, its about the continual breaking of the spirit so God can work even more powerfully through us and in us.

the main point of christianity is really about a relationship with God. it is the key question: do you want to have a relationship with God, who will show you great wonders and destiny for your life? its the main question. everything else is just secondary, at least for a first time believer. all it takes is the faith. but alas, there are those who can't put themselves behind and trust in something greater than themselves.

what would it take for someone to believe?

and i am still wrestling with the prayers of last week. so Lord, i want to commit my gift unto You, because i really have no idea what it is. so Lord, use me, as You wish.

i am still struggling or, really, wrestling with myself. if i am just going to plainly study chemistry, why am i reading up on so many, many things? i know that USP won't be about all of these so much, but why am i really going to such an incredible extent? i dun suppose USP will use all the topics i'm studying about. heck, i must be one of those really small number of freaks who know about environment as much as about global geopolitics as about philosophy and history. darn. why hurh?

its something i will always ask myself. funny, its just 'fun' for me to know, even though i might not do anything about these fields after all. i hope my future job will be something that will allow me to stretch my mind on all these things. hee.

but the only job i know is about talking cock as a future analyst. and that means like working with Shell on future scenarios or CIA with their 15 year projections. heck. and since its like close to impossible to be working with these organisations. hahahahha. i remember singapore started something about future scenario planning. hmm... maybe could start thinking about these things. but what the heck. all of these things are for the future after all...

anyway, whoopie! going to watch pirates later! yeah!