10th may 2007 tigger running up and down the hill

its certainly not everyday i can book out on a thursday night. but here i am, sitting in the lovely chair, in front of the com, blogging.

been so, so tired. this week has been all running and throwing. and running 16km is just horrible, and have to think of all the stupid hills to climb. leg aching, body aching, everywhere also aching, still gotta run some more. aigh....

but the week hasn't been too bad, without thinking of the pain. slowly, slowly, counselling, counselling and more counselling. talking to people about God and stuff, and i dunno. it just hits me that all they need is faith, the simple faith to believe. if they don't want to, there's really nothing i can do. i can only pray that God will work in their hearts, and if they think they have no need, then... what else can i do? arrgh. its not easy, convincing people of God and Jesus. that they even need God and Jesus in their lives. slowly, perhaps, some of them are responding, i really dunno. like i already did so, their lives are in His hands, not mine.

this is the work that i'm slowly, slowly doing, day by day, word by word, deed by deed, and by faith. it can only work if God builds it. i won't be able to do it alone. Father, help me, as i submit before Your will, power, grace and love...

here's something i learned. long distance running is sheer physical and mental torture. the first few klicks are fine. you just jog along, the wind in your face, all that kind of feeling, its fine. then slowly, you start to feel the terrain. it just feels difficult to maintain the pace. you go uphill, and then downhill, and you realise that the speed just isn't there anymore. and then, the distance looms ahead, and you start feeling, 'oh no, how long more do i have to go on?' and then the thought just eats into your morale and spirit...

after a fashion, all you become is almost like a zombie, just the simple will of moving your legs, 'left right left right left right...' and it just never stops. you are just looking forward to the next landmark, and the next one, and the next one, and then, finally, to that finish line.

hoorah. sleep.