spoilt brat

It was a revelation that took me all of 21 years to realise. That I'm a spoilt brat. I have been favoured by my parents since I was young, and even now, I am still experiencing it. Tonight, I realised that I have taken my family for granted. The privilege to come together as a family to have dinner together - that it is actually a privilege, I have only begun to realise now. That even though I come from long distances back home to have dinner - that just counts for nothing when coming together to have meals. That it is only through grace that my family is around. I should never have taken my mum's cooking for granted, and should just receive it as grace plain and simple. And I am ever grateful for the grace of God...

And I'm grateful too, for my spiritual family, for encouraging me, for giving me the advice that I need so much. Yes, it is not what I do for God, but what I become for God that matters. That all my ambitions and dreams and all of that - can only come if and only if I submit everything to Him, that I die to the cross again and again and again... Visions, ambitions, dreams, desires - all of that counts for nothing if not for the love of God.

That You Jesus, for dying on the cross, for my sins...