quiet time thursday feb 2009

Jesus,

You know that my heart is settled... over so many things. Worries and concerns, about things not yet come to past, about things that i'm struggling about... Father You know all of them. And I know that it breaks Your heart everytime I have tried to held them back from You. And as I struggle with everything with my own strength, Your heart is crying out, asking me to surrender my life to You, so that through Your power, You will make all things new, all things beautiful in my life. 

And even as I spent time with You, You know what I've gone through for the past few days... of my resolve to go through sleepless nights just to finish a lab report on time... in the process neglecting You, failing to pay attention to You... Father, forgive me. I know that I couldn't have gone through that without You anyway. 

That there are administrative problems for me that still hinder my trip to Princeton. Father I pray that I can collect my passport tomorrow, and settle the administration tomorrow. 

That there are emotional perturbations... 

That I have a complicated organic chem lab session on thursday...

That to settle the administration I will have to skip lessons - important lessons that I wouldn't want to skip...

That I have to purchase textbooks to bone up my understanding...

That I have essays to write... for another essay competition, for Infusion, for daring proposals for USS, for proposals for ISM during summer, 'Restorative Chemistry' for triple helix, continue philosophical, epistemological conversations with Shin Jung and/or Dr Don...

many things to do, but Lord, help me to trust You even more, to PUT ALL OF THESE THINGS ON THE CROSS... That the rubric I measure a holiday will be in spiritual growth ABOVE ALL ELSE, that even as I labour all-night long, I labour in God's presence... 

YES LORD~ YOU sit enthroned in my life, NOT ambitions, NOT desires, NOT wishes. Lord, I cannot do these things by myself. I seek forgiveness for my sins, cleanse my shame and guilt, and lust and desires, and jealousy and hate... A heart of compassion...

Teach me Lord, to lay aside the self, and come to YOU in love, in expectancy. 

I ask for rest too... 

In Jesus' most precious name... Amen