Room of Tears

My room in PGP, i think, is becoming a room of tears. Or rather, this labeling goes to show how inner emotions do change our reality. I mean, I struggle here until the wee hours of the morning, go to class, and still have nothing to show for it. 

I'm not sure how else to handle this internal mess I'm in, except to grow in the realisation that I should not have any expectations of myself, especially academically, because when I hold on to these expectations, i imagine myself as someone that i cannot be, and to hold on to these expectations would only be remaking myself into someone i am not - which is a hopeless task. So I cast off all these thoughts, but they will always gnaw at me inside - i mean, who hasn't fantasized about being someone else they can't be... 

I guess, only when I hold on to God, this room of tears can become a room of joy! woohoo!