Family resources or rather, what I did not receive from my family.

Family resources or rather, what I did not receive from my family.

Hey all,

This is a long message, so read the abstract to decide if you want to continue reading.

Abstract:

On previous ocassions, I have mentioned that I'm very thankful for my family, for giving me the resources that allowed me access to the different cultural contexts and even some unexpected skills and values that have proven their worth time and time again. This time, however, I would like to narrate about the values that they didn't give to me, which should segue into my interest in Outliers, and about the additional reasons why I love the book. The point is that, I realise that I might fall under the 'Outlier' under Gladwell's rubric, and my personal life-narrative compels me to find ways to address this 'Outlier' phenomena, and to find ways to empower more people to be 'Outliers' in their own right.

---

In other occasions, I have mentioned the Hokkien and the values of working hard that I think my family has given to me. Hokkien is valuable in that it allowed me access to the different socioeconomic contexts that existed in SG. And of course, working hard. Enough said.

Now, however, as I was thinking through things, I realised that there were things that my parents did not give to me, that might even handicapped me somewhat even till today. Now, I say this not to bash my family, but to be honest, and sometimes it hurts. Nonetheless, I still feel its important to share this, because I think I am not unique.

I think as always, it helps to provide some context, both personal and social. The personal context is this: my parents were born in the 50s, were the recipients of the PAP's socio-economic programme, which has led to considerable material prosperity. Also came along the political constraints, and the belief in 'minding your own business and not get involved in politics'. The additional context is that my parents were primary-school educated, and so I was pretty much left to fend for my own when it came to decisions about higher education (I chose my own JC, chose my own university, chose USP by myself). Since then, I have pretty much lived an independent life, making my own decisions, and learning about handling consequences.

I realise that my parents did not exactly do the 'concerted cultivation' but that Gladwell talked about, and coupled with the 'MYOB' attitude, pretty much gave me a slow start in activism and the additional cultural capital that other people might have in some other areas (fine dining, photography, technology, concerted cultivation, personal initiative).

I guess after a while, people get stuck about their attitudes and ideologies, and if one does not learn to unlearn them, then... well, I guess that's what happened to my parents. They kinda got 'stuck'. Meantime, the world has changed around them, and so have I. I began to dabble a bit in activism, and got myself engaged in interesting conversations about the future of the country. Problem now is, parents and family don't fully understand the significance of these conversations that I've been having, and out of sheer concern, are trying to limit my attempts at acquiring those conversations...

The preceding paragraph then is a good place to start segueing into Outliers. The problem with me with Outliers is that I relate to it at a gut level. The narrative that Gladwell describes matches my own experience, except for one thing, that I did not have the complete set of cultural values to get to where I am now. If I had stuck to my parent's attitude, I could simply be another mugger at NUS doing science or engineering, trying to get good grades, just trying to earn money and all. Not that it's a less meaningful life, but a different life nonetheless. I might be more boring, but also more focused, hmm... oh well. Not that I'm successful, but seeing the past drawn out like that, I believe that one could not possibly predict, based on the circumstances of my family and past. Despite the flaws and the gaps, Outliers continues to haunt me, because of its narrative that the success of an individual can be socially and culturally constructed, that it depends on the cultural capital that the person is brought up in, but that it also depends on the individual choices that are made. Quite 'duh', but the major point is that, legacies matter, and for my case, and I'm sure the case for many people, is that those legacies still continue to haunt us, as people find ways to change and adapt in the future that is always becoming the present. The narrative that Gladwell presents compels me to think of ways of how I would like less of the 'Outliers' like myself, and instead, push for more people to be equipped with the cultural capital to allow them to live their lives to the full.